the time a boy called me fat

Now I am sure that this is not the only time that I have been called fat... but this was the one and only time I was called fat to my face.

It happened about 15 years ago in the heyday of MSN messenger.  I had just broken up with a boyfriend, moved back to the cities, and started a new job.  I was 20, and I absolutely had some extra weight on me.

My new boss had the "perfect guy" for me {they're always perfect, aren't they}, and invited me over to meet this perfect guy named Forrest.  I was told that he was 12 years older than me... which seriously, is not a big deal... except for the fact that a lot of growing up happens between the ages of 20 and 32, and I hadn't even started that journey yet.

So here is the moment, we meet... and you know what?  He wasn't perfect for me.  There just wasn't a connection.  He was nice, but I just wasn't feeling it, you know?  So I left that night,  and I was certain that he felt the same way, because the interaction was DULL.  I thought I would never hear from him again, and that life would go on.  I was wrong.  My computer was always logged in to messenger, and sure enough the next time he logged in, there he was.  I was naive to think that the situation would just "fix" itself, and now here I am... having to have an awkward conversation over messenger.  I was polite, and told him how I was feeling... and here is his response:

"Well I didn't like you anyways, fat bitch"

How in the hell did I remember word for word what he said to me?  You don't forget something like that.  I knew he was saying it because I rejected him, but it still hurt.  I was angry.  I responded with a quick "Well you just got rejected by a fat bitch" and blocked him.  And then I cried.

I knew I wasn't skinny, but did I deserved to be treated like this.  The short answer is no, but that is just not how life works sometimes.

The fact is that I will never look like a Victoria's Secret model.  I am not built naturally thin, and I am not willing to eat and exercise to the level that they do in order to have a body like that.  But that is ok.  I eat fairly healthy and I do exercise.  I have extra weight around my mid section, but that does not define me.  I am happy with myself, and I have family, friends, and a husband who loves me regardless of what I look like.  I think I am beautiful, and they think the same.

I even joke around with my husband and mold my stomach fat into things like a smiley face, or Mount Rushmore {I saw it... it was there ok?}, and we laugh hysterically.. and then I usually climb into his recliner with him and we watch tv for awhile.

I chose this image to share, because it is me.  I love to laugh, and I love to make others laugh.  When Andy first saw this shirt, he thought it was the funniest shirt ever, so I knew I had to wear it, paired with the "fat sculpting" and my laugh, I knew that Andy was going to laugh at this image... and it is one of my favorites.  It is me.  Not a fat bitch.

duluth boudoir photography | mad chicken studio | owner jes hayes